musings from my last night in my apartment
as I prepare to move back to my parent's.
Tonight is my last night in my apartment and it feels very bittersweet. I don’t know why I felt so compelled to take self portraits but I am very glad I answered the call. I don’t feel bothered by my clothes or lack of makeup. It was just me and the camera. Honestly, I liked taking my photos against the moving bins and it felt like a finale of sorts. How I am in the photos is what carries the feeling of surrender, the naked eye and pure creativity. When I look at those photos, I feel the tiredness and sadness creep through the lens.
Choosing to be surrounded by the boxes, was a muted selection. This chapter of my life is over and this is me radically accepting the situation here. The addition of the sunset lamp makes it more fun and experimental. The playfulness with color and shadows combined produced a hidden aspect of the self. The close ups are my favorite because of the purple monochromatic filter I put on the camera and it makes it very bold in my eyes. It’s a cool look and I am very cool - never forget that.
As for my last entry in this journal, I want to bring it back to The Artist’s Way and how the second time around sowed the seeds of how my world changed in 4 months. The workshop ending with my firing seems like divine timing I think and I will not waste this time that I have received living at home. My current path requires me to be devoted to my creative craft which means taking seriously so I can prosper. I believe that I can do it. My world is my oyster and it starts today (august 28th). I, Joan, is a gift from god-kado bondye. My purpose is to shine bright and be the star I am meant to be. I trust you. I believe in you. I love you.